Fix that, fix this, fix me, fix you!

How estranged we are from each other.

How many fixations do we seek to repair, but more so, to impose? How often have you experienced immense tension over something trivial?

How often have you felt the pressure of “this is how it must be done, this is the way to do it,” without any reason? In other words, how often have you been burdened with fixations you truly didn’t need? I know I am fixated.

But what about you? Why do you wish to persuade other people or, to put it more plainly, to force yourself over others at any cost? Place the spoon from y to z. Erase this with that because that’s the right way. Kiss the hand because that’s the way it’s done. Place the flower here because over there is bad luck. And you see, the more resistance you encounter, the laziness or nihilism in the target you wish to overwhelm, the more fixated, rigid, and insistent you become.

Have you ever wondered why? The simple answer is that you want to be heard. I prefer to explain to myself that the human spirit is free through its creation, and you have grown accustomed to the self-imposed prison, afraid of your soul’s freedom. You fear letting your creative child roam free, so you anchor it in fixations and leave it in the dark. And thus, the night of reason descends. Thus, the death of the question “why?” emerges. Thus, life is taken over by “this is how it must be,” “this is how it’s done,” “this is what I want,” and other expressions lacking logical consistency.

And so, you act. This is how you begin to wish to persuade others. This is how you start to disconnect from yourself.

I believe that fixations directed at oneself are called obsessive-compulsive disorder with hints of schizophrenia. In contrast, fixations directed at others are called unconscious narcissism sprinkled with dictatorial tendencies of a body uprooted, disconnected from the essence of the soul.

And why does all this matter in the end? Am I not, in my turn, quite fixated? Look, I’ve already written about the soul about 4 times, somewhat hypocritical, right?

It matters because fixations leave us alone. They leave us desolate, empty, and adrift. They make us prey to the illusion that we can control what we cannot. All we can control is how much we can accept ourselves and accept reality.

The reality is that the spoon y in drawer x has no relevance; you just miss connecting, and the aggressive fixism with which you insist on your fixations are but the screams, the cries of a child left in the dark and ignored, who now wants people to show that he exists by doing things his way.

The truth is that nothing is correct, but merely in a fragile balance. The truth is that no one will fully accept your fixations, and certainly not all of them. The truth is that you don’t even like your fixations. Precisely for this reason, you owe it to yourself to stop believing that you can fix things that are beyond your control.

Precisely for this reason, you are obliged to turn on the light, to feel, to connect with yourself, to take a shower of light that cleanses you of fixations, and to be ready to face the world, just as it is.

You are exactly where you need to be. Right now. Accept it.